To Rekindle A Heart
by Mobiuslemniscus
Summary: Revised, in-depth version of my X-Men: Rebirth story. Kitty needs someone to be there for her, but can Logan get through before she breaks down? Rated for rape and other sexual/profane content. Intimacy and passion also to follow in later chapters. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

"Look out!"

Kitty Pryde plugged her ears and ducked behind a row of steel base cabinets. There was a blinding flash of red light and the floor of the labratory shook as Scott blew a hole through the reinforced wall. Shards of metal shot through the air in all directions, and glass vials clinked and rattled on the shelves. A few fell to the floor and shattered, the various liquids mingling together to create rancid fumes.

She didn't want to be here. The battle filled her senses but she remained curled up behind the cabinets until a hand suddenly grabbed her wrist. She shrieked and was immediately cut off by Storm, who looked alarmed.

"We need to leave, NOW. There are Sentinals." Ororo released Kitty's wrist and beckoned as she ran towards one of the many charred gaps in the western wall of the facility. Kitty stood and followed suit, but stopped short as she passed a doorway that opened up into a massive chamber with the apparent purpose of holding military equiptment. She could see Karma being pursued by two others down a staircase and into a seperate hallway. One of the attackers carried a samurai sword and he had distinct mutant characteristics, but the other she could not be so sure about. Nonetheless, she couldn't let a fellow member of her team defenseless. She changed directions and ran into the chamber.

Sounds of a violent confrontation came from where she'd seen Karma disappear. Creeping swiftly around a row of fuel tanks, she was about to make a dash down the stairs but a fist came flying out of the air and hit her across the face too quickly for her to phase through. "Oomph!" She landed on the cold floor and her head smacked against the tile. A familiar face leered down at her as the corners of her vision faded inward rapidly. She blacked out.

- - - -

Storm looked at the group following her. Wolverine, Cyclops, Nightcrawler, Cannonball, Wolfsbane, Sunspot, Psyche...her stomach twisted. Two missing. "Where are Kitty and Shan?!" Logan looked around and felt the same nauseating pain in his gut. "You," he shouted at Kurt. "Come with us." To the others, he yelled, "Scott will take you to the jet."

With their footsteps fading and only the dull sound of approaching vehicles outside the walls of the facility, Logan could hear muffled sounds coming from one end of the building. Storm and Nightcrawler both had faith in his senses and followed close behind.

- - - -

She couldn't phase. She was slumped on some kind of examination table in a small room lit by only a single row of flourescent lights which cast a sickly blue glow on everything it fell upon. She struggled to sit up but a massive hand grabbed her by the throat. "You were always such a tease, Miss Pryde." She let out a squeal of pain and fright. Colossus roughly pulled her body closer. She could see the excited pulse in his neck and the hunger in his eyes.

He began to change into his metal form. In a desperate act, Kitty pulled backwards out of his grasp and tried to run. He immediately slapped her a second time across the face with an osmium coated hand. "Where do you think you're going?! I'm going to have to teach you a lesson."

Massive steel hands clasped hers. She was too afraid to move or make a sound; what if he hit her again? The left side of her face was practically numb with pain and she could imagine that black bruises were already beginning to bloom across her cheek and eye. She struggled as one hand began to travel down the small of her back, but Colossus' motives were hardly going to be hindered by the panicked squirms of a 90 pound, five foot tall girl whose only power of escape had seemingly been 'shaken loose' when he smacked her earlier.

He quickly realized that she was powerless. "You won't try to get away this time, will you?" He leered at her hungrily as his skin faded from a metallic osmium glint to firm, solid flesh. Even without his powers in effect, he was still too strong for her to have any chance of breaking his grip.

"No, no please!" Both hands were underneath her shirt, tearing the fabric in their excited exploration of her body. His breath was heavy and hot as he bent forward and ran his tongue across her stomach. In a heated fervor he muttered, "You're out of luck, sweetheart."

In no time at all, her shirt had been torn off and her blue jeans were hanging from around her ankles.

He unzipped his pants and hoisted her up by the neck so she was nearly sitting at the edge of the table. Momentarily letting his rock-hard cock rest at the clenched opening between her straining legs, he whispered, "No one's going to hear you scream." Then he thrust himself inside.

She screamed.

He dug his fingers into her arms, squeezing hard and making tears roll down her face. His cock felt as if it was tearing her in two and he was hardly being gentle about it. He grunted as he forced himself further and further inside with each thrust. She cried out as he grabbed her breasts and he took the opportunity to lock lips with her, forcing his tongue down the back of her throat.

Suddenly he pulled out. "Turn around. I want you on your knees." She could not refuse his demands. Humiliated, she got to her knees and he positioned himself behind her before slamming himself into her again. It hurt worse this way, much worse, and she bit down on her lip to stay silent. His pace was quickening and she knew what was next.

"AUGHHNNnn!" He shot his cum deep inside of her. Breathing heavy, he rolled her back over and obviously still had things in mind to do to her. She was breaking down. She wished it could all just be over with. She wanted to die.

- - - -

Logan had heard a scream. The three of them soon skidded to halt outside a storage room and Logan looked imploringly at Kurt. "Get her out of there, blue?"

He teleported into the room on the far side away from Kitty and her rapist. Horrified, Kurt stood frozen for a moment. Distracted, Colossus turned towards him and this was fortunate because it gave Kurt time to teleport to the table, grab Kitty's hand, and then teleport them both safely outside of the room.

Logan let out a strangled howl of anger when he saw Kitty. Her naked body was bruised and bleeding, her head hanging loosely, her face soaked with tears and hardly recognizable. Storm hastily took off her cloak and draped it over the girl's limp figure. Logan had little time to think about how to proactively handle his anger however; Colossus was quick to tear the door from its hinges and toss it aside, standing in front of the haggard group with hate in his eyes.

"I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!" Logan threw himself at Colossus while Storm helped Kurt carry Kitty towards the exit. "No...Karma," Kitty muttered and shook her head in protest. "Karma is still down there. The stairs." She pointed weakly. Storm surveyed the situation professionally.

"I'll go. You get Kitty and Logan back to the jet." She made for the staircase and Kurt picked up Kitty in his arms before teleporting to where Logan was, grabbing his arm, and then zapping them both back to where the others were waiting.

The other students stared at the three mutants in front of them that fell from thin air to the floor of the aircraft. Logan regained his balance first, pushing Kurt out of the way and kneeling over Kitty's huddled form. "Kid..." The left side of her face was a solid bruise, spreading from her swollen, bloodshot eye to the corner of her lips. He didn't know what to say or do. Her appearance left him speechless with a combination of rage, horror, and sorrow.

Scott put a hand on Logan's shoulder. "Where's Storm? Come up front with me." Logan nodded and stood up, trapped in a haze of emotional overload. Kurt disappeared once more as Wolfsbane and Psyche helped Kitty into a seat. Then Kurt was back for good, this time with Storm. "Karma is gone. We need to go now." The jet hummed loudly as Scott prepared it for flight.

Kitty stared motionlessly out the window as Storm tended to the cuts on her face and the raw skin on her arms. She did not move when Storm had finished and had made her way up to where Wolverine sat, nor did she move when they both spoke in low tones to each other, inaudible to her over the noise of the engines. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Scott and her fellow classmates glancing at her. She didn't care. When they landed back to the Xavier Institute, she stood stiffly and walked as determinedly as she could off the jet. "Kitty..." Storm began to call after her, but realized she did not know what she could say. Left to her own devices, Kitty made her way through the Institute, limped up the dorm steps, and collapsed on her bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Kitty shut off the faucet and let the last few beads of water roll down her naked body before sliding open the glass door and stepping out of the shower. The room was misty and warm, and she wiped some of the fog from the mirror so she could try to comb the knots out of her hair. When she'd finished, she took one last look at her reflection. Suddenly, it seemed inadequate. She was too short. Her hair was too flat. Her eyebrows weren't thin enough. Come to think of it, _she_ wasn't thin enough. "Whatever," she sighed, and grabbed her bathrobe, pulling it on loosely.

She opened the door and jumped back, startled. Logan was standing at the threshold, his hand hovering mid-knock.

"Oh! Logan!" She wrapped her bathrobe tighter around her body. Apologetically, he shielded his eyes and looked down at an outlet on the wall. He cleared his throat and then spoke, his voice a little more gruff than usual. She could tell he was embarrassed.

"Uh...well you, you missed the carpool with Jean and the Professor doesn't want you walking to school so I uh, I'm going to be giving you a ride when you're ready to go. I'll be waiting in the garage." He quickly turned away and made a beeline for the stairs, staring straight ahead and running a hand across the back of his neck. She would have laughed at how unnaturally flustered he was, but she didn't have the energy or sense of humor this morning.

Ten minutes later, Kitty trudged down the stairs into the entrance lobby and was about to step outside to the garage when Logan suddenly poked his head through the kitchen doorway. "Hey kid!"

She spun around and her eyes immediately locked onto what he had in his hand. A home-made egg and cheese biscuit. He saw her look and smiled, holding it out in her direction. "I thought you might want to eat before you go."

Supressing a groan, Kitty forced herself to smile instead. "Yeahh...thanks!" She slowly walked into the kitchen, taking the sandwich and sitting down at the end of the dining table. The polished wood was cool underneath her fingers. Logan walked over to the counter and sat down beside Storm and Professor X, who were watching the morning news report on the tiny, countertop television. The atmosphere was slightly tense and Kitty felt a small wave of panic as her eyes flitted from the sandwich to the group across the room. She could see Logan watching her out of the corner of his eye.

She took a small bite. It tasted delicious; the egg was cooked perfectly and the cheese melted into the soft bread. He'd even put _salt _on it for her. But her mind was rejecting the idea of eating right now and she could only register a dull, bland flavor. She tried to think of a way to get out of this.

She took another small bite. Suddenly she smacked her forehead and stood up quickly, pushing the chair out from behind her. It wobbled precariously and then rattled back onto its four legs. Logan, Storm, and the Professor all looked over at her questioningly. "I TOTALLY forgot I have a Chemistry test today at 9:30, I really have to be there on time! I'm going to grab my lab notebook and then we have to get moving, okay?" She picked up the sandwich and made a dash out of the room, remembering to take an obvious chomp out of it as she ran past Logan.

As soon as she got upstairs, she ran into the bathroom and quickly spit out the mushy contents into a wad of tissue. Tearing the sandwich into pieces, she dropped everything into the toilet and pulled the handle. She shook away the pang of guilt she felt and then slipped out, closing the door behind her. Grabbing a notebook from the floor of her room, she trotted back downstairs and found Logan standing by the front door. She tried to sound as perky as possible. "Ready to go?"

A stream of sunlight poured across the paved floor and concrete walls as the garage door opened up. The soft rays struck Kitty's hair and face, bringing out the rich colors in her hair and emphasizing the delicate bone structure of her jaw and cheeks. When they walked over to his Harley Davidson, Logan answered her quizical expression by handing her a helmet. "My _taxi _is in the shop right now. You didn't think we'd be taking a car, did you?"

She hadn't really thought about it until he'd brought it up. She'd never ridden a motorcycle in her life...did she really want to ride with _Logan_? She swallowed hard and tried to figure out which end of the helmet was the front.

He watched her bemusedly for a minute as she struggled to fasten the buckle underneath her chin before finally stepping in to help. "You've got it backwards. Just stand still, okay?" He reached out to take the strap from her fumbling grip. For a split second, his rugged fingers brushed against her skin and he immediately felt her entire body stiffen tensely. "Sorry..." He muttered the apology in a rather soft, gravelly voice. There were still faint bruises on her face and neck and for a moment longer his eyes lingered on the marks. Then he clipped the buckle securely and pulled back, throwing his leg over the motorcycle and patting the spot behind him on the seat. "Hop on and _hang_ on, kid."

He started the engine and it rumbled loudly, shaking the floor and making Kitty jump. Logan sucked in a bit of air when her thin arms wrapped around his waist. This wasn't something that happened too often. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time someone else had ridden with him on his bike. And he certainly couldn't remember the last time someone had held onto him so deliberately. Her hands locked together just underneath his navel, the bony fingers intertwined and pale in the bright sun. He tried to ignore the strange feeling her closeness was causing and gave the gas pedal liberal pressure, peeling out of the garage with the echoes of the roaring engine still reverberating behind them.

The bike growled its way down Bayville Avenue. The two of them were a sight to be seen; Logan enjoying the fresh morning air as it whipped around and surged through his senses, with Kitty clinging on for dear life behind him, her eyes squeezed shut and her expression being that of fearful anxiety. In what seemed too short a time for him and too long a time for her, they skidded up to front steps of Bayville High School, literally. A few skateboarders gave Logan dirty looks as they quickly moved out of the way.

Kitty hadn't let go yet. Logan looked in the mirror and chuckled to himself. She still had her eyes closed and her face was pressed into his jacket. "We're here, you can let go now. You alright?" She cautiously unlocked her arms and smiled weakly as she dismounted. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just not used to riding one of these, that's all. Thanks for the ride."

He shrugged. "No problem. I think I even sort of enjoyed it." He gave her an encouraging smile. "Good luck today."

She looked confused. "What?"

The smile faded slightly from his face. "Your exam. I thought you said you had a Chemistry test, when-"

"Oh yeah! Sorry, I was just spacing out. Yeah, I have to get there now or I'll be late." She waved the notebook at him and then jogged up the steps, slipping through the doors and out of sight.

The smile had now completely disappeared from Logan's face, though Kitty was already gone and on her way. He'd read the cover of her notebook when she'd held it up, the one that had been her excuse earlier. Unless his eyes had been mistaken, the letters on the front had said, "Kurt Wagner, Adv. English 11".

He found the ride back to the mansion to be much less enjoyable.


	3. Chapter 3

When he arrived back at the mansion, Logan shut the door quietly behind him and walked into the kitchen. He tossed his keys into the wicker basket on the counter and opened the fridge, grabbing a Thomas Kemper Root Beer. He used a claw to pop the cap off the top of the bottle, then took a long swig. The powerful carbonation bubbled and prickled over his tongue and down his throat. No one else was in the kitchen, so he allowed himself the opportunity to rip out a loud belch.

"Very nice, Logan." He was so startled he nearly took out the refrigerator door with his claws. He hated when the Professor communicated telepathically. It always caught him off guard. "Sorry. Once you've cleaned the root beer off the ceiling, I'd like to speak with you in my office." Logan groaned and reluctantly grabbed a wad of paper towels.

- - -

The Professor sat behind his desk, sorting some papers into a couple of folders. Logan popped open the new bottle of root beer and then stepped into the office. "You wanted me?"

"Yes. I'm going to be visiting Dr. MacTaggert in Scotland for the next couple weeks. I'm putting you and Storm in charge of the students in my absense. They shouldn't be any trouble, but I wanted to let you know. If at all possible, I'd like to leave by this afternoon."

Logan shrugged. "Sure thing. Is that all?" The Professor nodded, but then changed his mind. "Actually, no. I want you to keep an eye on Kitty. I fear that she may be less stable right now than what she's leading us to believe."

"I was thinking the same thing, Charles. But what am I supposed to do about it?" Logan didn't really feel comfortable talking about this right now, but it wasn't as though he could escape the discussion.

"I just want you to try to be there for her if she needs you. Storm's efforts to get through to her have been rather unsuccessful. Just don't forget what Kitty has just gone through. The psychological effects will surely be long-lasting."

No problem, bub. I'm always there for anyone who needs it." Logan left the room before anything else could be said.

Back in the security of his own room, Logan let his thoughts stream through his weary mind. He was already doing everything the Professor asked of him. Ever since the day Kitty had arrived at the Institute, Logan had admired her. He loved her personality; the stubborn determination and independence. The same traits he saw in himself. But she also had more than him. She was more human. She could laugh and make friends and playfully interact with those around her. He'd never been very good with people and this extra quality she possessed only gave him even more respect for her individuality.

There was obviously something different about her now, something dark and tortured below the facade she was putting on. He wanted to see her smile genuinely again. He wanted her to love herself as much as he...as much as he what? Logan groaned and stood up. This was all too much work. Maybe television could take his mind off things.

He stretched out on his favorite couch in the lounge and turned on Sportsnet, his favorite channel for watching hockey. Warm sunlight streamed in through the wide glass windows. Soon, the voice of the announcer began to fade in and out and, telling himself it was just for a moment, Logan shut his eyes.

_The lighting was dim and everything was metal. The floor, the walls, the ceiling, the pipes and machinery...a dull glint in every direction. He'd seen this room before. Suddenly he was aware of another being, and looking down he saw that he was holding someone in his arms. She seemed so familiar, why couldn't he remember who she was? She felt weightless. Empty. Her body was naked and he could count her ribs. Blood trickled down the side of her face and left a spot of blood on his shirt. Where was everyone else? He could not focus. There should be others here...he needed to get away. He needed to find help. She was bleeding heavier now, the drops hitting the floor like a slight rain. His head was fogged with panic and confusion. He spun around and realized that there were an endless number of hallways. Which one was he supposed to take? Suddenly the girl opened her eyes and their blue stare bore holes into his own hazel irises. Her hand grabbed his shoulder. "Logan..." She sounded frightened. He shouted frantically, "I can't find the exit. Which way is the exit?!" He was coming unglued. "Logan..." Her voice was pleading. Suddenly he knew who she was. "Kitty."_

His eyes snapped open. Kitty stood beside the couch, looking extremely nervous. "Um...you were dreaming." Other students stood nearby with similar expressions on their faces. A few were holding book bags and he realized he'd slept a little longer than he'd planned to. He pushed up into a sitting position. "Sorry, I was...yeah. Dreaming. Did you want the remote?"

Kitty passed it over to Kurt. "You pick. I don't care what we watch." Logan watched her flop down into an armchair. She folded her twiggy arms and legs close to her body, curled up almost defensively. As everyone else found their own places to sit, Kurt switched the channel over to GSN. Logan expected Kitty to protest loudly - she hated Family Feud - but she was staring intently at the wall, not even paying attention to the screen. Kurt looked surprised but relieved. Feeling awkward among so many teenagers, Logan stood up to leave the room. Kitty didn't look up and he almost felt a pang of disappointment that she had not noticed his departure.

A couple hours later, the smell of baked alfredo ziti and crescent rolls wafted through the mansion's corridors, dragging the occupants away from what they were doing and leading them to the dining room. Storm had convinced Logan to help with dinner, and now he was trying to avoid detection as he sidled into the dining room with a handful of plates and utensils.

"Whoa Logan, Storm made you wear an _apron_?" Bobby Drake imitated the sound of a cracking whip. "Shut it, you little twerp-" Logan started to snarl, but then he noticed something that took his mind off of the humiliating situation. There was an empty chair at the table. "Where's Kitty?"

The students all just looked around at each other and then back at him. Jean spoke up for them. "She's working on schoolwork in her room. She said not to worry, she'll just eat a sandwich later." Jean shrugged. "I don't think she likes pasta much anyway."

Logan tried not to let Kitty's absense from the table get the better of him. He tried to reason with his own misgivings. Jean was a telepath, so if she could sound so nonchalant about it, there was obviously nothing suspicious going on. Just alot of schoolwork, that was all. He jabbed Bobby in the chest with a finger and left the room to grab more plates.


	4. Chapter 4

_I want to thank you guys for all the reviews so far...you're inspiring me to keep going with this story and I really appreciate it. Generally I just get sidetracked and stop writing halfway through but I really like how this one is turning out and by the way it sounds, you all like it too. More to come, I promise!_

_- - -  
_

Kitty carefully hoisted herself up onto the cold stone wall and kicked her sandals off to the side, letting her bare feet dangle above the moist green carpet of vegetation. Her toes just barely skimmed the soft, tender blades of grass below. It had been three weeks now. She tried desperately to clear her mind and stop the thoughts that were becoming so persistent and frequent these days. Her efforts were in vain.

Storm had done a number of medical examinations, and Kitty had grudgingly cooperated. The results were supposed to make her happy; she wasn't pregnant, she didn't have any diseases, the physical damage would all heal up without any complications. The news was supposed to be good, even uplifting.

But Kitty couldn't just move on like that. She was stuck on this thing that had happened, this horrible assault that had taken her dignity and confidence and had torn them to shreds. She hated herself. Why couldn't she just let live and move on? Why did it have to be her?

She stared at her ankles. She could see it all happening again inside her head. The jeans being torn open and yanked off, falling right there at the end of her feet. His violent grip, the merciless expression of ruthless cruelty and lust on his face. The way he held her down. The way he forced himself inside of her.

She shuddered. At least the Professor couldn't read her thoughts right now. For once it was a relief that he wasn't around. She knew he'd been prying at her mind ever since the Trask Laboratory Operation. He meant well, but she wished everyone would just leave her alone. She could take care of her own problems, after all. Why did everyone have to be so intrusive about what had happened?

- - -

Logan stood by the window in his room, letting the afternoon light pour in across his face and along the ripples in his loose cotton shirt. He was leaning slightly against the off-white paneling, resting his head on the edge of the frame. His eyes were focused through the glass pane, across the brick walkway, past the basketball court, beyond a small patch of grass - falling to rest upon the girl's lonely figure resting against the fountain.

He ran his fingers through his thick hair, a few stray strands falling back over his eyebrows. The Professor had been right, something was definitely wrong with Kitty. But Logan had sensed this from the beginning anyway. Maybe she could fool the others, but she sure couldn't fool him. If only there was something he could do for her. The problem was he didn't know how he could ever bring up the subject with her; that wasn't his area of expertise and he wanted to avoid an easily awkward and touchy situation.

He sighed. No one else seemed to notice the changes in her demeanor. Even Storm and Jean were convinced now that everything was fine. She always had a reasonable, responsible excuse for anything that could be a problem. She was always working on extra schoolwork, or tired because she was up late the night before reading a book, or just wanted some time alone to sit outside because this was her favorite kind of weather. She always managed to get away from everyone else.

But he could see beyond the excuses. She was becoming increasingly distant and it was hurting him to watch it happen. In the past few weeks she had ceased to carry herself with the same self-confidence as she had before. She had woken up late for school nine times so far and each time, when he dropped her off at the front steps, she would thank him for the ride and _swear _it wouldn't happen again. She had stopped fighting with Jean and Rogue for the bathroom mirror in the morning. She didn't care what the other students chose to watch on television in the afternoons...in fact, she didn't even spend time in the lounge these days. Instead, he would see her passing through the hallways silently, slipping into the confines of her room, or sneaking outside so she could sit by the fountain like she was doing right now.

The dinner bell rang from somewhere downstairs and Logan reluctantly tore his eyes from Kitty's forlorn figure and turned to leave the room. He needed to do something, he knew that. He just didn't know what.

- - -

"Hey kid, you comin' to eat?"

Startled, Kitty jumped and accidently phased through the wall she had been sittin on. Catching her balance, she looked up to find Logan standing at the edge of the walkway, looking a little bit less sure of himself than usual. But only a bit.

"No, I...well um," she stammered and crossed her arms before completing her broken sentence. "...I don't really feel like eating tonight. Go on without me." She met his gaze with an expression of strained resoluteness.

Logan made like he was going to take a step forward, but stopped himself and simply shifted his weight. "You said that yesterday, too."

Kitty felt the knot in her throat tighten again. "I don't like eating dinner. It's too late in the day and it makes me feel heavy. Don't worry about me."

This time, Logan did take a couple steps forward. He extended a hand towards Kitty. "You haven't eaten a bite in days. No breakfast, lunch, OR dinner. You need to eat."

Still meeting his gaze, she curtly replied, "I'm not hungry. End of story, okay?"

He heard her voice waver in this final response but he knew it would only do more harm to try her patience. He could not win this battle. Shrugging, Logan turned back towards the dining hall entrance. "I'm not going to force feed you, but it IS getting dark and you can't sit out here all night. Time to come inside." He paused, then looked back over his shoulder. "If anyone asks, I'll tell them you're busy working on homework." He made an attempt to smile in her direction, then pulled open the doors and disappeared inside.

Halfway through the first serving of roasted chicken, Logan's keen ears picked up the sound of the east wing doors creaking open. His heart thumped a little faster and he hoped she would smell the food, that it would coax her to the dining room, that she would finally sit down in the seat that had been vacant for days.

Her footsteps moved away in the opposite direction and his hopes followed suit. He tore a huge bite of meat off the chicken leg in his hands and focused on the flavor, ignoring his sinking heart and the stares his mood swings were earning from the students.


	5. Chapter 5

Outside her door, Logan stood for a moment in silence. It was late but there was light streaming from underneath the door and he could hear her footsteps ever so softly padding against the carpet. He tried to go over in his head how he would initiate this conversation but his heart skipped suddenly when he heard the creak of her bedsprings. He knew if he waited any longer tonight to talk with her, the next opportunity wouldn't be until _tomorrow _night, and that would just be another day for her to waste away. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door lightly before turning the knob and poking his head through the crack.

She was ready and alert, cross-legged on top of the covers and still fully dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. "What do you want?" Her voice was laced with hostility and Logan was already regretting this decision. "I just wanna talk with you. 'Zat alright?"

"NO!" Her face twisted with rage. "Why can't you leave me alone?!"

Startled by her outburst and fearing she would wake the other girls in the dorm, he made the unbelievably foolish mistake of stepping completely into the room and closing the door softly behind him. "You don't need to start a scene, Kitty, I-"

He moved towards her and in an instant she had leaped from the bed to her feet and was in a fleeing stance. The trouble was that he was between her and the door, and he had not yet realized the extent of the situation. He raised his hand to signal peaceful intentions but her mind was on a fear induced overdrive and she grabbed the object nearest to her - a chair - and threw it in his direction.

He caught it with ease and set it down neatly by the dresser to his left. In good humor, he flashed her a half smile. "Settle down kid, you know I wouldn't try to hurt you."

Wrong move. His smile paralyzed her with fear, and his heart nearly broke upon seeing the terror written across her face. Now he understood.

"Look..." he carefully lowered his arms to his sides and took a step backwards. Tentatively and ever so slowly, he sunk down to a sitting position on the crimped carpet. Still, she flinched as he gestured towards the door. "Go ahead. Run. I'm not gonna chase you." She stood frozen for a moment more like a deer caught in headlights, her eyes flitting from his open palm to the door to his palm again. Then in an instant she had made a quick and sudden dash, disappearing straight through the mahagony paneling.

He stared at the loose, frayed fibers poking out from the carpet underneath his boots. A conflict was taking place inside his head, a battle between him and himself. He could see now all the stupid mistakes he had made. He shouldn't have shut the door, he shouldn't have even invited himself in. He shouldn't have found humor in her outburst - he was a threat without trying. And for God's sake, he shouldn't have come in dressed like a fucking biker. He could have at least taken off his boots and jacket.

He leaned foward and buried his face into his hands, asking the empty room what he wished he could ask her. "What can I do?"

- - -

Kitty sat down with her back pressed against the wall. Her heart was beating rapidly and she waited as it slowly dropped back down to normal. How could he just barge in like that? How could he intrude, why couldn't she get one moment of peace? Why did he care? What was his intention? What was he going to gain from all of this? The questions were endless and she was so tired...the words began to jumble in her mind and before she knew what she was doing, she was laying on the red carpet and had fallen fast asleep.

- - -

Logan finally lifted his head and looked at the clock. 12:52. Well it was bad enough that Kitty was distraught and lurking somewhere in the mansion tonight- he didn't need someone to find _him_ in her dorm room sitting on the floor. He stood up stiffly. Might as well make sure he knew where she was before he went back to his own room.

It didn't take long. He opened the door and jumped, not expecting for there to be a person lying on the floor in the hall. He studied her for a moment; taking in the way her hipbones protruded from under her jeans, how her expression seemed strained even now when she was sleeping, the faint sound of her shallow breathing. God, she looked so beautiful and yet so frail. He wished she could see just how much she had to offer. He felt a pang of guilt as he realized he had been staring at her for a little longer than necessary. Specifically, he'd been eyeing her small, firm breasts and how right now she was cold and her nipples were hard, poking up underneath the thin fabric of her shirt. He shook his head.

She was cold...so, so make her warm. He wanted to pick her up, to lift her in his arms to her bed, to hold her close against his torso and feel her figure with his own fingers but he didn't want to risk waking her and making her panic again. Instead, he grabbed a quilt from where it was folded at the edge of her bed. Walking back into the hallway, he draped it gently across her body and then walked back across the mansion to his own room, where he would lay awake for a long time, thinking.

- - - - - -

"Hey Kitty!" Someone was shaking her gently. "Wake up!"

She groaned and opened her eyes. Jean was kneeling beside her...beside her? Pushing herself up with her hands, Kitty was suddenly extremely disoriented. Where was her bed? Why was she on the floor? Fear surged through her for a split second.

Then she remembered. Logan. Last night. She had been so stupid. "Why are you out here, Kitty? Is anything wrong?" She shook her head and hoped Jean wasn't going to pry into her mind. "No, I...I guess I was sleepwalking last night. I'm okay. What time is it?"

It was too early for her to evade breakfast this morning. She was still too sleepy to think up an excuse and Jean quickly ushered her towards the kitchen. "If we're lucky, we'll be the first ones in there and we can snag the good pieces of bacon!" She smiled and tugged Kitty along behind her.

Light was pouring into the kitchen and she shielded her eyes when the two of them first walked in. "Hey, look who's here this morning!" Storm's voice rang out from near the stove and it was full of pleasant surprise. "You're practically a stranger in this room. Have a seat here at the counter, breakfast is just about ready." Kitty's eyes were beginning to adjust to the light and when she saw who else was sitting at the counter, her heart skipped a beat. Logan. The worst part was, she couldn't tell if the feeling in her chest was good or bad. Right now, all she could identify was a growing sense of awkwardness.

- - -

Logan couldn't help but notice that Kitty sat down at the stool furthest away from him. He forced himself to look back at the screen of the television. "...and in other news, a wildfire east of Cross River threatens the Lewis Boro Town Park. Firefighters have been working diligently since yesterday to keep the blaze at bay..." It just wasn't holding his attention. He glanced at Kitty and realized she had looked up at him at nearly the same exact time. A faint pink tinge spread across her cheeks.

"Another cup of coffee, Logan?" Thank god for Ororo. "Yeah...you know how I like it." She poured the steaming drink into his mug. "Let's see, black, right? Unless you feel up to pouring the cream and sugar yourself." He winked at her and stood up from his seat to get the sugar from the pantry. "Don't worry, I've got it. Just get some food on those plates, I can hear the kids coming down that hallway and they sound hungry." He wasn't lying, either. As soon as the last word left his lips, a crowd sleepy students began filing into the kitchen, looking expectantly up at Storm and himself. Logan threw his hand up and shrugged. "Hey, don't look at me. I didn't wear the apron this morning." He leaned up against the wall and let Bobby take his seat at the counter. He didn't bother to mention that there was a little bit of syrup on the seat from the pancakes he'd eaten earlier that morning. The kid probably needed an extra opportunity to wipe his ass anyway.

He watched as Kitty nibbled at her toast and pushed the scrambled eggs around on her plate. Kurt asked if she was going to eat her bacon, and she looked more than happy to let him take it. She looked even happier when Jean stood up and announced that she would be leaving shortly for school, so carpoolers would have to be ready to go. When Kitty had left the room with the other girls, Logan could see that she had not actually eaten more than a couple bites of her toast and had done nothing with her eggs except scramble them even more with her fork. But no one else seemed to notice anything odd and he felt it would be unfair to point it out, not to mention a little strange. The others might wonder why he was paying such close attention to Kitty's behavior.

The day seemed to take forever from the time the kids left to the time they got back from school. He waited for Kitty in the kitchen, thinking he might catch her as she came inside and he could talk to her then. But when she finally came through the door, he forgot what he had planned to say and they simply exchanged a glance before he tore his eyes away from hers and looked down at the floor. She did the same, leaving the room silently. He didn't see her for the rest of the evening, and for once, even Logan skipped dinner.


	6. Chapter 6

It was another late night. Kitty lay on her side underneath the covers, eyes open and lost in thought.

She felt a little strange about Logan's interest in her. It didn't seem to suit him, this kind of devoted attention from him towards anyone was unusual. She'd caught him looking at her numerous times this morning, and anytime he saw her, it always looked like he wanted to say something. It wasn't creepy so much as it was odd...why did he care so much about her? She could only wonder what he was hoping to achieve in the end.

The more she thought about it, the more it made her insides squirm. Again, she could not tell if the feeling was good or bad. She wondered if he had been told to spy on her, if this was all just under the orders of someone else like Storm or the Professor in his absense. It was possible. But she believed it was more than that, and she wanted to know how much more, and in what way. Had he looked at her with desire last night when he had draped the blanket over her while she slept. She _knew _it had been him. Had he wanted to touch her, to caress her hair and leave a kiss on her lips? What if he _did _do that and she had slept through it? Would he want her even at her worst moments, or did he only like it when she was cheerful and perky like she so often acted out for everyone?

She knew one fact for sure; if he wanted her _at all_, the one thing that was on his mind was sex. He'd been so much more attentive to her since the Trask Laboratory incident; when he saw her naked body laying before him that day, did it awaken a primitive craving inside? Did he desire her physically, did he want to take control and crush her underneath him like Colossus had done? Did he want to force her to submit, to feel the power and dominance as he broke her down? She shuddered and caught her breath as she suddenly envisioned the scene, replacing Colossus's face with Logan's. And yet...if that was what he wanted, she almost felt as if she ought to let him have it. There was a hole torn into her heart, leaving her feeling incomplete and unsure of what to do.

She slipped out from underneath the sheets and grabbed her jersey knit nightgown from the where it hung on the bedpost, pulling it over her head. She figured if she was going to be creeping through the mansion tonight, it'd be best to be wearing more than just her cute little silk boxers. As comfortable as they were, they really didn't do a great job of covering her up.

She left the room without opening the door, not wanting to wake anybody up. She was pretty sure that there weren't too many people who would be pleased with what she had on her mind right now.

- - -

Logan was having a great deal of trouble falling asleep. He tossed in his bed, trying different positions and readjusting his pillow several times. No luck.

He couldn't rest his mind. Maybe something good would be on television right now and he could ease the stress that was building inside his head. But first he'd need to find the damn remote. He grumbled as he threw his legs over the side of the mattress and stood up. He checked behind the console, under the bed, on the bathroom counter. Getting increasingly frustruated, he yanked open his top drawer- and there was the remote, nestled innocently in a cluster of socks and underwear.

There was a knock on the door. "I'm up." It was his way of inviting in whoever it was.

The door creaked open a little and Kitty's face appeared in the sliver of open space. Logan's heart jumped into his throat. He caught his breath and shut the drawer, placing the remote on the foot of his bed. "Hey kid...you can come in." His voice was cautious and soft.

She sidestepped through the crack and shut the door gently behind her, making sure the knob clicked into place. His eyes travelled down her body. The soft pink fabric of her nightgown was fitted just tight enough to show off all the important angles of her body while at the same time leaving plenty of room for imagination. The low, scooped neckline exposed her elegant collarbones and the slightest glimpse of cleavage. The hem cut off mid-thigh and her long, slender legs were flawless and shaved smooth. His heartbeat sped up and he forced himself to look back up and meet her own eyes. He didn't want to be caught staring at her like that.

He needn't have worried. She was doing the same, taking in his muscular form, his firm hands and the little tuft of stomach hair and...shit. He'd forgotten that he didn't have a shirt on. "Sorry, hold on a minute." He dug through the second drawer of clothing. "I didn't realize-" She stepped forward. "Don't worry about it. I don't mind."

He instinctively moved away as she came towards him. He wanted her to feel comfortable around him and the last thing he wanted to do was crowd her or make her feel cornered. That reminded him.

"Kitty, I'm sorry for last night. I didn't mean to..." He trailed off. She was shaking her head and looking at him imploringly. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted so crazy...you just caught me at a bad time. I like when you're around." She was still advancing in his direction and he was running out of room between him and the wall. He'd learned by this point that he needed to give her plenty of space but this time it seemed like she was _trying _to get closer to him. Her eyes had a peculiar gleam in them, almost anxious but he couldn't focus on her expression- her lips were just inches away and, _"oh god"_, she had just grasped his waist tightly with her long fingers.

He tried to take one more step back, but he could go no further. The bedtable bumped against his legs and the lamp wobbled, making the shadows in the room waver. "Kitty-" his attempt to protest her advances was cut off as she suddenly leaned in to kiss him.

The contact sent waves of arousal to his most sensative regions. He could not bring himself to push her away; her lips were so soft and smooth, her touch was so gentle. He opened his lips slightly and their tongues met in between. He noted the faint taste of mint and was swept up in how silky she was inside his mouth. As the kiss became more involved, her hand snaked sensually across his stomach and then down to his waistband, exploring the outside of his sweatpants and the growing bulge that was radiating heat through the fleecy cotton. Logan moaned with passionate fervor, and involuntarily jerked his hips forward a bit as he reached around to pull her in closer to him.

She flinched. It was all he needed to bring him back to his senses. He twisted his head sharply to one side, breaking the kiss. Holding her firmly by the shoulders, he put two feet of distance between them and looked down at her wide eyes. "Why are you doing this?" His voice was husky but his face was serious and suddenly all his lust had vanished.

"Doing what? You do _want_ me, don't you?" She looked and sounded extremely hostile and even, he thought, a little afraid.

He didn't know how to answer the question. He was a mentor, a teacher, a voice of wisdom in this place. He loved her, but in what way? He had responsibilities, after all, and those were supposed to come first. "No. I mean I...no. I want you to- you need- you don't know what you're doing. You're confused. I'm sorry, Kit-" she tore away from him and stormed towards the door. To thoroughly display her anger, she chose to open it and then slam it behind her instead of simply phasing through.

He sat down on the bed. Guilt battled the lingering desire inside his tired mind. She was so beautiful, so young and delicate. He wanted to see her smile again. He wanted to see her troubled thoughts disperse. He wanted to be the one to help her through this mess that she had fallen victim to.

But she had kissed him. And he had liked it. She had kissed him because she couldn't comprehend any other kind of love or any other form of compassionate bond. She had expected him to take control and to take her and force her down into the mattress. She had _wanted _him to do it, because that was all she knew. And truth be told, he _did _desire the physical merits _but_ he didn't want them without the deeper aspects of a relationship. He wanted her to know how much he loved her and he wanted her to realize how much respect she deserved and how much he was willing to give.

But it had still blown him away when she kissed him.


	7. Chapter 7

_Sorry for the delay, there's alot on my plate right now. I have a 20 page report due on Monday, I am working all weekend at a job that doesn't allow much freetime to write or do schoolwork, and top it off with me being sick all week...well, I hope you guys can understand. Anyway, don't worry, I haven't forgotten about this story and I've had plenty of time to __**think **__about ideas. It's just a matter of finding the time to actually type it up and post it._

The Professor had returned after being gone for nearly two weeks. In all honesty, it made Logan feel a little uneasy having Xavier around again. After what had happened between him and Kitty, he really didn't enjoy the fact that there was a powerful telepath in the mansion whose primary concern was to make sure that things were going smoothly.

And it didn't take a mind reader to see that _something _was up between the two of them. Kitty hadn't spoken to Logan in days, or even been in the same room with him. He'd tried on a number of occasions to find an opportunity to pull her aside and talk to her, but she always managed to evade his attempts. If he waited in the front entrance after school, she would come in through the garage door. If he hung around in the kitchen after breakfast was being cleared, she would find an excuse to leave for school earlier than usual so he couldn't seize even a moment to talk to her.

Though it was breaking his heart, Logan tried to tell himself that maybe things would be better this way. He respected her decision and hoped it was for the best. At any rate, with the Professor back, she had begun eating again. Very sparingly of course; she always got the smallest amount of helpings possible and never ate _all _of what was on her plate, but at least she was coming to meals on a regular basis. She had also made a point of waking up in time for school so she could carpool with Jean or Scott. He knew he should be happy that she was putting a little more effort in school, but he had loved giving her rides in the morning. Plus, it had given him a reason to give his bike some exercise.

These acts of deliberately avoiding him were tearing him to pieces inside. He had lain sleeplessly in bed every night with his mind replaying what had transpired between them in his room. It had been so perfect for that one moment and then..."ugh". He rolled over on his side and looked at the clock. It was only five in the afternoon. He'd been trying to nap - more like trying a new technique to get through the day. Unfortunately, he wasn't the kind of person who slept alot. He preferred to be awake and aware of his surroundings. It sure gave his thoughts plenty of extra time to haunt him.

He couldn't shake the image of Kitty from his head- it was as if a picture of her that night was burned into his retinas. The lamplight's dull reflection off of her bare, long legs, the shimmer in her hair, the faint blush on her cheeks and the way her clear blue eyes burned into his as she came towards him, glistening lips slightly parted, so smooth when they touched his own...

"Logan? I've got a mission proposal if you feel up to it. Please report to my office." He sat straight up and nearly carved a new headpiece into his bed. God, he _hated _when Xavier did that. "Sorry, Logan. I always forget. I hope I wasn't interrupting anything." Logan frowned in response. What the hell did Charles mean by _that_? Xavier really had a knack at making him feel completely unnerved. Logan stood up and hastily tried to keep his mind clear as he realized that he'd become semi-aroused by his thoughts about Kitty. In a way, it made him feel a little ashamed of himself.

The office looked the same as it had the last time Logan had come in. The Professor looked up as he crossed the threshold. "How are you, Logan?"

"What's this scoop, Charles? I want to cut straight to the chase. You know I like your missions." Professor Xavier smiled. "Alright, alright, I'm just accustomed to those trivial things that most people call _manners_." Logan responded with a grunt.

"Nick Fury has just contacted me and he wants to get in touch with you. It sounds to me like he has some new S.H.I.E.L.D. operations and I think you might be interested to hear what he has to say." Logan had tuned in attentively as soon as he'd heard the name. "Fury...I can't say I'm thrilled to hear that he has _plans _concerning me. What's the real deal?" Xavier shrugged. "I'm under the impression that there is no hostility or expectation against you. He simply wants to meet up and discuss some matters of a discreet nature." There was a pause. "He left me a time and address, just in case you gave in to his request. He even left a little gas money, in case you wanted to take your bike."

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Now you've got my attention. Where and when, Charles?"

- - -

Kitty heard the rumbling engine and looked out of her window in time to see Logan speed down the road on his motorcycle. She sighed. He didn't even want her. She had given him the ultimate chance and he had denied her. She wasn't even good enough for a guy who hadn't gotten laid in...well, she didn't actually know how long and she wasn't about to start speculating. But she tried to convince herself that it had probably been a while. At least since he'd been here at the Institute...so at least two years.

And yet he had been looking at _her_ with reproach these last few days, as if it was _she _who was in the wrong. It was infuriating; what right did he have to blame her for the tension between them? Hadn't _he_ wanted her? Hadn't _he_ been unable to keep his eyes off of her? Hadn't he thrown _her _away like a piece of trash? And now he was going off on his bike, he was probably going to disappear for a couple weeks, probably going to come back and act like he was so self-righteous and wise and like he knew what was good for everyone. She threw a pillow across the room, knocking over the books that were stacked precariously on top of her dresser.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door. "Hey, Kitty?" It was Rogue. "I heard a crash, you okay in there hun?" Kitty got up and opened it a crack. "Yeah, I just dropped my books. I'll be fine." She tried to shut the door, but Rogue grabbed the edge and held it open. "Let's go for a walk before dinner, just you and me. I wanna talk to you."

"Look, 'ah know what it's like." They were walking the outer perimeter of the Institute grounds. Kitty looked up skeptically at Rogue.

"Sure, I get it. You don't believe me. You don't think 'ah know how you feel. But every day 'ah look at Scott and jus' get a huge knot in my heart 'cause 'ah know Jean's got him wrapped around her finger and it's so hard, wanting someone and not being able to let them know." Kitty was tongue tied. Was it so obvious between her and Logan? She didn't even want him...did she? Rogue glanced at Kitty empathetically. "Aren't ya gonna say anything? At least tell me who it is..."

Kitty glanced nervously down at the ground. "Well, the truth- the truth is I... I like Lance." Rogue looked taken aback. "I mean, I always had a crush on him but lately I just can't keep my mind off of him. It's stupid." She felt confident with what she'd just made up. Rogue's expression showed her it had worked.

"Oh wow, 'ah was sure you liked...well no, Lance makes more sense. Well in that case, you're lucky 'cause 'ah think he likes you, too. Maybe you should just let him know how you feel." Rogue shrugged, obviously thrown by Kitty's convincing lie. The silence was threatening to lead to an awkward moment, but the dinner bell rang and both girls secretely felt relieved as they headed inside together.

At dinner, Kitty poked at her steamed vegetables and listened to the conversations around her. She could see Rogue down at the other end talking to Bobby and Kurt in low tones, and had the sinking feeling that it was about what she had "revealed" a little while ago. But Storm and the Professor were closer and their topic of conversation was a little more interesting to her.

"-don't know when he'll be back, could be up to a few months. I hope to hear from him."

"Where did he go, Charles?"

"He rode down to New York City. He's looking forward to playing some pool at his favorite bar. I guess everyone has something that makes them happy."

Kitty fumed silently and jabbed at a particuarly mushy carrot with her fork. So Logan was going to New York City and he'd be there for _months_? It was probably his "favorite bar" because it had his favorite _whores_. She could see it now; he'd get drunk and bring some dirty, wasted piece of ass to a motel room and they'd destroy the mattress. Kitty's self esteem fell through the seat of her chair. He'd sleep with a New York City slut but he wouldn't even _touch _her.

She excused herself and carried her plate into the kitchen, scraping the scraps into the garbage can. Then she made her way into the main entrance and picked up the phone, dialing the number she wanted and waiting for the other end to pick up. A click. "Hello?"

"Hi, is this Lance? It's Kitty."

Two could play at this game.


	8. Chapter 8

"Shit dude, that was _Kitty_? As in _Kitty Pryde_? As in _Kitty-I-Want-Your-PUSSY Kat??_"

Pietro gave Lance a playful swat on the ass and then made a "V" with his fingers, wiggling his tongue obscenely and crossing his eyes. Lance shoved him away.

"Dude she's coming over here and I want you guys to leave us alone. I don't know _what_ she wants, but one of my secret powers is the power of seduction so I'm hoping that's going to work out for me tonight." Todd and Fred sniggered from the living room. "The only power you've got over chicks is that you can shake 'em up better than any vibrator, so long as you don't destroy the building while you're at it."

- - -

Kitty rang the doorbell. Lance opened it almost instantly, his readiness startling her. She peered cautiously inside, and he seemed to know immediately what she was searching for. "Don't worry, the guys are downtown right now, probably causing trouble and throwing shit at cars. They'll be occupied for a long time." He moved aside awkardly and she stepped inside. They walked into the living room together and she forced herself to playfully run her hand over his shoulder and chest, poking him gently.

"I thought maybe we could just watch a movie or something. I just needed to get out of that hellhole, everybody's always breathing down my neck and I've always wanted to spend more time with you." She wasn't _totally_ lying. Sort of.

"Hey I bet South Park is on." Lance looked so excited, Kitty almost forgot how much she hated that show. "Suuure. Let's watch that." They sat down on opposite ends of the couch. By the time the theme song had ended, Kitty was determined that by the next commercial break, she'd get this whole thing over with.

She didn't even have to wait _that _long. Before two minutes had passed, she became aware that he wasn't looking at the screen anymore. When Lance saw her glance over at him, he stood up. He closed the blinds, winking at her as he did so. God he was daft. Did he really think she was interested in him? Though, at least he was interested in _her_. Lance, one; Logan, zero.

"Hey, you like Alice in Chains, right? Great." She didn't even know what he was talking about, but she figured it would do no good to argue. Unfortunately, the next thing that happened was that he turned down the horrible, distasteful show on tv and turned UP a horrible, distasteful band on the stereo system. The distorted guitars were grubby sounding and the singer's voice came out like a mosquito's whine. It was definitely nothing like the music she listened to; Nelly Furtado and Chris Brown were more suited to her taste.

Lance plopped back down onto the couch beside her, much closer this time. His hand was resting on her thigh. She'd made sure to wear sexy clothes; a black miniskirt, a tight fitting v-neck shirt with flowy sleeves, her favorite necklace and plenty of make-up. She was even wearing lip gloss. She _never _wore lipgloss.

It was working. Lance gazed at her with a misty expression, his eyes glazed over and full of desire. "You look real hot tonight, Kitty." She refrained from rolling her eyes at his lack of tact. He was staring openly at her breasts and she lifted his chin back up so they were both looking at each others' faces. He had nice features, seductive eyes, cute hair. Resolutely, she thought to herself, "_What better time than now?_"

- - -

Logan leaned against the polished wooden edge of the large table. He held a cue stick in one hand and ran his fingers through his thick hair with the other while he watched Nick sink the solid red ball into the left side pocket.

"So you're saying there's an anti-mutant organization that has _teamed up _with some mind controlling mutants and they're running underground dogfights between other mutants who have been hypnotized?"

Nick missed the next shot he took. "Yes, though the term dogfight doesn't seem very proper. In the most blunt terms, I would consider it a death-match cage fight."

Logan took a swig of beer and then bent down low to the table, lining his cue stick up carefully. "What's any of this got to do with me?" He sunk both the green and blue striped balls at once.

"We want you back with S.H.I.E.L.D. This is right up your alley, tracking down these guys and bringing this scheme to an end. It's just a money making program, anti-mutant individuals will pay big money to see a person with wings get electrocuted by someone who can channel electricity. It's sick, but it happens. I'm sure with your training it should be a piece of cake to take these guys down." Logan sunk the yellow striped ball in the corner pocket. "I know that's not all you're after, bub."

"Well, you're right. After we deal with this petty "dogfight" organization, I can promise you even better benefits than you had the last time you were with us. We'll even pay for housing; no more living in that crowded, hormonal boarding house with all those dramatic brats."

"I happen to _like _living with those brats, Fury. I'm someone they can look to for answers."

Nick looked at him scornfully. "Sure. Must be a blast. Look Logan, as far as I can tell, Charles Xavier is the one they look to. What wise lessons are you going to teach them? You don't even have answers for yourself. But we can help with that, Logan...come back to us."

He sunk the last ball and leaned his cue up against the table. "Sorry, Nick. I'm beginning to realize I don't really need as many answers as I used to."

Nick's expression darkened. "You're predictable, Logan. Let me guess. It's a girl. A girl too young for you, right? A student? You want her but you can't have her?" He threw his pool stick onto the green, felt tabletop. "You're _almost _invincible, _Wolverine_. But it's always women who fuck you up."

Logan held Nick with a steady gaze. "I wouldn't know about that," he tapped his head. "I forgot all the things you think you know about me, remember? So I think I'm going to stick with what I _do _know, Nick, and stay with those boarding house brats. Thanks for the offer, bub."

He grabbed his beer and made his way out of the barroom, leaving Nick Fury standing by the pool table, looking extremely offended.

- - -

Lance's smooth back was beaded with sweat and the muscles rippled silkily underneath her fingers as he moved above her. His breath was heavy and he moaned as he slid in and out of her slowly, savoring the sensation. He had his eyes closed in pleasure and his teeth clenched. His hips smacked into her thighs each time he pushed forward, and it was obvious that at least one of them was thoroughly enjoying this experience. But she couldn't care less about how good it felt to him right now.

To be completely honest, she was almost bored. This whole moment was so fake. She was fake, he was fake, everything was just fabricated self-gratifying lust. Only this wasn't even gratifying. He was so damn polite, so sweet and gentle but he wasn't thinking about her right now. He wasn't giving her love or passion; he was just taking the most of this for himself and trying half-heartedly to be a gentleman at the same time. For God's sake, he hadn't even bothered to take her shirt off.

"Mmmph!" An exceptionally hard thrust brought Kitty back to reality, and she remembered to wrap her fingers in his hair and moan a response to his quickening breath. "Oooah, K-Kitty I'm gonna cum!" He suddenly pulled out and in a split second he was practically _sitting _on the upper region of her ribs, his fingers jerking up and down the slippery shaft. "_Ugh, real romantic, Romeo," _she thought to herself before closing her glossy lips over the tip of his penis.

He immediately arched his back and shot his load into the back of her mouth. As he shuddered with orgasm, she noticed that the entire room shook slightly; the ceiling fan swung from side to side and the remote rattled on the coffee table. His cum was something of a mix between bitter and salty and it took all her willpower not to spit it out all over the couch. Instead, she gave him a sticky smile and forced herself to swallow.

When Kitty walked home that night, she felt even more hollow inside than she had before.


	9. Chapter 9

It was Saturday and Kitty took advantage of being able to sleep late. When she finally awoke, she made her way down to the dining room slowly, hoping she missed breakfast. But Kitty's heart nearly jumped into her stomach when she saw Logan clearing the table. Rogue and Kurt sat at one end of the table, finishing up the last bites of their breakfasts. She tried to keep her expression straight, and sat down without giving Logan a second glance. Luckily, she was tired and couldn't give too much of a damn about anything right now. She hoped there would be some coffee left; this was just one of those days.

"Where were you last night, Kitty? I thought we were going to work on our history project together?" God, she had completely forgotten. Kurt's voice almost sounded hurt, though she suspected he was simply trying to put on the cute factor. Rogue tried to direct Kurt's attention away from the subject and let him know to be quiet, but her frantic tapping on the tabletop only added fuel to the fire.

"What? You know something I don't, Rogue?" She scowled in his direction. Kitty looked down apologetically, "I'm sorry Kurt, I forgot and I...made plans with someone else." She hoped he would lose interest and accept her apology. But Kurt's expression had gone from disappointed bewilderment to utter shock and revolt as he realized why Rogue was trying so desperately to keep him from saying anything else. Kitty made to shush him, but the words were already leaving his lips.

"You...you and _Lance_?! You guys _hooked up_?!"

There was a crash in the kitchen. Logan stood in the middle of a heap of broken dishes. "I...I'm going to just clean this up...I, sorry-" he broke off, very red in the face, and looked hastily around for a broom.

Kitty stood up and threw the nearest thing she could find, Jean's textbook, and threw it at Kurt. "You're a fucking idiot! Why can't you ever be quiet?!" He teleported out of the way and watched her storm out of the room. He looked to Rogue for support. "Come on, she chose Lance over me? I'm supposed to be the friend here!" Rogue simply glared at him and left the room as well, leaving Kurt alone with only Logan as company.

- - -

So, Kitty had been with Avalanche...but how much had happened, why had this happened, what had happened? Logan had to know. He was so confused and the feeling in the pit of his stomach was not a good one in the least. Feigning innocent concern, he leaned against the back of a chair and looked inquiringly at Kurt.

"So, Kitty sure seems upset, huh blue? Wanna tell me what the trouble is? As a mentor in this institute, it's important that I know how to help her." Kurt shrugged and sullenly replied, "I don't think anything is _wrong_. She...well, Rogue thought-" he stopped and smiled slightly, "Rogue thought at first that Kitty liked, well, _you_. But it turns out Kitty likes Avalanche." He pouted. "Basically, last night she totally ditched me so she could go screw around with him. Her loss. That's all that needs to be known." He stood up and pushed in his chair politely, before exiting the room with a soft "pop".

Logan stared intently at a small stain in the carpet and tried hard to suppress the surge of emotion that was bubbling to the surface of his heart and mind. She had slept with Lance; why? Was he, _Wolverine_, not good enough for her? Was he not caring and kind and open and patient enough for her? Why would she go off with a guy she hardly knew? How could she throw him away so easily?

- - -

Kitty sat on her bed, holding her head in frustruation. Why did Kurt have to be so thick-headed? And more importantly, why did _she _have to be so stupid? She had thought last night would be self-gratifying, even redeeming. But she had felt empty and used, a piece of meat to be taken advantage of again and again. She had thought Logan would be gone for as long as the Professor had said, that he had found something else to occupy his time and energy. And now he was back, now he had heard, now he had _ actual _reason to think she was just a worthless slut.

There was a knock on the door. She mumbled, "Come in," and in a strange and terrified way, she half-hoped it would be Logan.

The door creaked open slowly and Kitty looked up. It was just Rogue. Before Kitty could think of a way to get her out, Rogue spoke.

"Look hun, ah'm sorry for tellin' Kurt that you liked Lance."

Kitty shrugged. "You're not the one who made him shout it out to the whole Institute."

Rogue sat down and put her gloved hand on Kitty's shoulder. "Hey, it's not as bad as you think. Kurt does stupid stuff sometimes, but he didn't mean no harm. He was just hurt 'cause he has a little puppy crush on you. Boys will be boys." She paused. "Anyway, it wasn't like anyone was around. The only other one who heard was Logan, an' you know it was just embarrassing for him to hear, nothin' else. He won't tell nobody what Kurt said."

Kitty frowned. It _was _as bad as she thought- Rogue just didn't know.

"So forget about Kurt...how was last night? Was he good?"

Kitty couldn't keep lying. "No, I..." Her voice broke slightly. Rogue looked at her with concern. "What? What's wrong?"

"I...I don't like Lance. The truth is I like someone else, but I slept with Lance because I... I wanted to prove to them that I could, I guess. I wanted to- I don't know what I wanted. I was angry and I thought that having sex with Lance would replace...well it's stupid, can we just not talk about it, Rogue?"

Rogue smiled kindly and stood up. "Sure. But we'll make a deal. Ah'll drop the subject if ya come with me, Jean, and Jubilee; we're going to the city for some well-deserved shopping. I'm not going to let you spend all day moping around this crummy mansion."

Kitty shrugged. Why not? Maybe it would help her get her mind off things.

- - -

Logan was standing once more in the Professor's office. Storm and Hank McCoy were seated in the chairs by the window. There was a third chair available, but Logan didn't really like sitting down right now. He never felt too comfortable in chairs.

"I have received an email from S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters containing some files that concern the information you mentioned in _passing _last night, Logan. I understand you weren't in a great mood, but if there is anything you left out, please fill in the details." Logan thought for a moment. He had come in, slammed the door, and the Professor had been waiting right there in the hallway for him. Had he said everything that could be considered important?

"I think I covered it all, Charles. Everything Nick told me, anyway. I know I was a little sharp and _vulgar _but I wouldn't leave out details about something so serious."

The Professor nodded. "I believe you." He spread a few papers across the desk and everyone leaned in. "Nick mentioned in the email that although he regretted your decision, he would not withold any of the information S.H.I.E.L.D. has gathered from our team. He's on our side Logan, don't doubt it."

Logan grunted. "Right. Doesn't mean I have to get along with him. Let's just talk about the email, Charles."

"There is a list of confirmed mutants who have gone missing without explanation; nearly 200 names so far, and that's just counting _confirmed _mutants. I might add, right here, that a Piotr Rasputin and Xi'an Coy Manh are included in this list- that is, Colossus and Karma."

Logan tensed. Colossus. That son of a bitch. That violent, primitive rapist bastard-

"_Logan, please._" The Professor gave him a strange look, and then continued as normal.

"I have been trying to track Karma and Colossus since...the _incident_ at Trask Laboratories." Logan wished the Professor would stop glancing at him like that. "Though Cerebro tells me they are both still alive, it has not been able to pinpoint their position and I have not been able to contact them telepathically. If what S.H.I.E.L.D. believes is true - that a mutant has teamed up with an underground fight-ring organization, then it narrows down the culprits significantly. My guess is that someone is paying Mesmero a good share of the money collected from these fights, or providing him with some sort of convincing assets. But...there is one missing piece to this case."

Storm jumped in. "Right, who is blocking Cerebro? Mesmero can't do that, can he?"

McCoy's voice was low and dark as he responded to her inquiry by simply uttering a single name. "Magneto."

"Exactly," Charles nodded in his direction. "Magneto is the only mutant I know who can block Cerebro's reach. Somehow, Magneto must be involved with this organization as well. And I wonder, what incentive does he have to be a part of it? The organization is anti-mutant. Unless he is so bent upon ruining our Institute that he will stoop to those levels just to attack our students..." The Professor trailed off.

"So..." Logan spoke slowly, trying to make sense of things. "Colossus didn't actually have a choice about what he was doing? And Karma ran off because she was being forced to?"

The Professor's face was weary. "I don't know, Logan. I would like to think that they didn't act on their own accords. You know that Piotr went to Magneto after he left the Institute last year. Eric has proven himself capable of changing peoples' minds purely through charismatic persuasion. With Shan, it was obvious that she was having trouble fitting in here. I still need time to learn more about this organization and those who are involved. Today, I just wanted to give you an update on my own hypothesis, in case it could inspire any of you to think on it. I will see you all at dinner." He dismissed them with a sad smile.


	10. Chapter 10

Logan flopped down onto the couch with a sigh, root beer in one hand and the television remote in the other. He'd let Hank run the Danger Room session this evening, much to the relief of his students. He just didn't feel up to dealing with much at all today. He felt so frustruated and confused by what Kitty had done- even a bit betrayed. All afternoon he had imagined what Kitty and Lance must have been like last night...it just kept running over and over through his head.

It was getting late. A few students straggled through the hallways, making their ways back to their rooms or to the library for some reading. None of them bothered Logan, he made it clear that the couch was _his _right now by the way he was sprawled out across its plush cushions. Besides, no one else in the mansion were too partial to watching hockey.

- - -

The girls got home around 9 p.m. Jean, Rogue, and Jubilee headed inside, but Kitty excused herself and said she wanted to take a short walk around the institute to stretch her legs before bed. The others let her be, and disappeared into the building.

As she walked around the west side of the mansion, Kitty saw a flickering light shining through the lounge windows and reflecting off the damp grass on the other side of the glass. As she got closer to the room itself, she could see that the lights were off but the television was on. Taking a detour, she slipped herself through the wall and tiptoed over to the couch. Nothing but a few roughed up pillows and the remote. Someone probably just forgot to turn off the tv when they went to bed. She reached for the remote, but felt a sudden sense of uneasiness when she felt that the cushion was still warm.

"Kitty..." Startled, she jumped and turned around quickly, pressing herself up against the back of the couch. Logan was leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed and his face difficult to make out in the darkness. His voice was quiet and sounded almost strange.

"I'm sorry, I thought someone had forgotten to turn it off. I'll just go..." The occasional bursts of light from the tv screen lit his face enough for her to see that it held a stern and deep expression. He looked almost sad, or perhaps it was anger in his face that she saw. She couldn't quite tell, and it made her nervous.

"What's the deal, kid? What happened last night? Are you trying to hurt me? Are you trying to hurt _yourself_? I care about you, Kitty. I want you...to be happy. Please talk to me." He was _pleading_ with her. She couldn't think of anything to say. She didn't know where to begin. She didn't _want _to begin.

Unfortunately, she could not keep a tear of frustruation from running down her face. It glimmered as it made its journey. He almost moved towards her, but held back.

"I don't want you to throw any more chairs at me, Kitty. I don't want to cause you grief or make your life more difficult. I just want things to be friendly between us again. I miss you, kid. I really do." He made an attempt to smile, but he looked too sad to be convincing. She found her voice, though it was cracking with her effort to keep from breaking down. "Me too. I've been so stupid, Logan. I thought things would be better if I had sex with Lance. I thought you weren't coming back, that you had given up on me...I thought it was all you wanted in the first place and he's always liked me and you left and...and I wanted someone to love me, but I was stupid-" her words were jumbled and she could feel her knees shaking, her mind going blank, except for an incessant white noise. She couldn't think. She was crying, tears were streaming down her face like waterfalls now.

Her shaking legs buckled and gave way, but luckily Logan had crossed the room as she had spoken and he dove to catch her as she collapsed, holding her up and close to his own body, not sexually but lovingly. He felt how weak she was; how fragile her limbs were and how light her breath was, even though she was sobbing into his shoulder. He half-carried her around to the other side of the couch and sat down, letting her fall against him and into his embrace once more. She clutched at his soft cotton shirt, pressing her face into his chest as she cried. Everything was being released with these tears, all her pent up anguish and self-loathing forcing its way out in this moment between them.

- - -

Logan tentatively lifted a hand to her head, stroking her hair gently and pushing it out of the way. He didn't know how to comfort her, but he hoped that being here with her would be enough. She only looked up at him once, her eyes wide and apologetic, eyeliner running in streaks down her cheekbones. Then she had buried herself back into his chest, her body heaving with the effort of so much emotional release.

He couldn't help but think of how perfect she felt in his arms. This was what he wanted - minus the crying - and it sent a surge of guilt through him when he realized he was getting a little bit turned on having her this close to him. He wished it could just be enough to love her without _wanting _her, because that was the last thing she needed right now. Yet he had such a desire to hold her tighter, to lift her chin and kiss those soft lips and run his hands along her body's contour...

_No_. He clenched his eyes shut for a moment and willed those thoughts away. She was relaxing in his arms now, exhausted and motionless. So vulnerable and beautiful. He leaned back slightly against an overstuffed pillow and thought to himself that he would sit here just a little longer before bringing her to her room. He didn't want to disturb her just yet, now that she had slipped into sleep. Her long legs were laying gently across his, one arm still resting on his chest, the fingers loosely pressed into his shirt. He imagined that he could lay here forever like this...

In no time Logan had also fallen asleep, with his arms still wrapped around Kitty's body lovingly and protectively.


	11. Chapter 11

Logan was slowly becoming aware of someone shaking him by the shoulder. He groggily opened his eyes and could see that the early morning light was creeping in through the windows, coloring the walls with a pale blue glow. Birds were chirping outside, greeting the new day.

"Logan!" Storm hissed his name sharply as he tried to close his eyes again. This time, his eyes snapped open and _stayed _open. "Shit! Ororo!" He sat up and became suddenly aware of the weight laying on his body. He looked down and he would have smiled warmly if it hadn't been for Storm being right there. Kitty was still tucked close against him, her arm around his waist. He felt bad for sitting up so suddenly - he had disturbed her sleep and now she stirred, stretching her arms over her head and rolling over.

"Mm-m-mmorning?" She yawned. Storm left the room, but not before giving Logan a stern look. Kitty didn't notice her brief presence, and looked at Logan blearily. "Hey..."

Logan couldn't help but smile. "G'morning, kid." He didn't know what to say, so he ruffled her hair a little and handed her the remote. "Guess you're picking the channel this morning." He stood up and followed Storm into the kitchen.

Ororo scowled when Logan walked in and set himself down at the counter. She handed him a cup of steaming black coffee in silence, her lips pursed and her thin, white eyebrows furrowed. He heaved a sigh and got up to get some cream and sugar. As he was adding the second spoonful of sugar to the caramel colored liquid, Ororo finally came up to the counter and leaned in towards him, speaking in a low but angry tone.

"How can you be so damn thick?" He looked up in surprise. She never cursed.

"Don't overreact, we didn't _do _anything. It was late and we both just fell asl-"

"Don't overreact? I come down to start breakfast and find _you_ and a _17 year old girl_ cuddled up together like some couple that's just consumated their love! What if it had been Jean, or Rogue? What if Kurt or Bobby had come downstairs? You don't think that could be an issue?"

Before he even had a chance to respond, the Professor entered the room through the front lobby doorway. "Exactly what I was thinking, Logan." His face was not quite as stern as Ororo's, but his tone was still of a serious nature. "I know that your intentions may be well-meant, but I only asked for you to be there if she needed a friend. I think it's safe to say that anything more than that would be impractical and inappropriate in this institution. The other students count on you to be a mentor, and it may be a little disconcerting to them if all of your energy is going towards a relationship with one individual student- a junior in high school, nonetheless. The difference between 120 years and 17 seems rather dramatic, don't you think?"

Logan swallowed hard and tried to keep from getting too defensive. He shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. "Sure thing, Charles." He glanced at Storm, who was leaning against the refridgerator with her arms crossed. "I think maybe it's a bit of a misunderstanding...Kitty was upset last night and I was just trying to comfort her and let her cry it all out. I wasn't planning on falling asleep- it was late and I...at any rate, it was my bad. I'll be more careful." It killed him to roll over and give up so easily, but he knew there were no better alternatives. Storm seemed a bit more relaxed, and offered to fix him an omelet before she made breakfast for the other students. He forced a smile and took another sip of coffee.

During breakfast, Logan tried to avoid Kitty's desperate attempts to catch gazes with him. He knew he'd thrown her off this morning, but maybe the Professor and Storm were right. He might as well give up this attraction before it got too dangerous. She was young, impressionable, emotional- he tried to convince himself that he would just end up breaking her heart one way or another, even though he knew deep in his heart that he could commit in a heartbeat to only her.

Luckily, Kurt was perky this morning and focused on getting Kitty's attention. He flicked bits of toast at her plate as she tried to ignore his persistant requests to work on their history project together. Her efforts were in vain.

"Kiiitty, please! I don't want to write up ze entire paper by myself! I'll tell Mrs. Andrews zat you did not contribute..." It worked. Kitty groaned and stood up with her nearly empty dish in hand. "Fine, Kurt. You win. Can I at least take a shower first, though? I'll meet you in the library in like, half an hour."

As the students started clearing their places and began to disperse into the hallways and rooms of the institute, the Professor requested that Storm, Logan, and Beast stay seated so he could talk to them. When there was no one still hanging around in the kitchen or dining room, he proceeded to address them.

"I've discovered, with the help from Cerebro and S.H.I.E.L.D. Intelligence, that there is a base located in the Sierra Madre Oriental mountain range in Mexico which is being run by unknown sources that Cerebro has been receiving mutant signals from. Mexico has reportedly been dealing with a surge of negative mutant activity and anti-mutant sentiments have been high for some time in that region of the world. I'd like to send you three to the site of interest and see if you can't gain any new information that could benefit us."

- - -

Kitty woke up much earlier than usual the next morning. She sat by her window and watched silently while the X-Jet rose from the basketball court. As the engines roared and the plane disappeared into the sky, she sighed. She wished Logan wasn't always leaving so suddenly; the Professor said it could be a week or more before they would get back. At least this time she knew it was just a mission, but it would have been nice if he'd at least said goodbye. In fact, it would have been nice if he'd said _anything_ at all to her. He had avoided any contact with her the day before, after they had woken up together. Of course, she had worked on the assignment with Kurt and that had taken a large portion of the day to do, but even at dinner Sunday night, he had not spoken to her or even looked her way. She just couldn't figure Logan out. One moment, she was all he wanted...and the next, she was just another student in the mansion. At least, that's how he was acting. She wished his intentions were a little easier to read.

She couldn't stay preoccupied on these troubles for very long, however. At breakfast, Jean was having a heated argument with Kurt and Bobby about whether girls were as athletically determined and competitive as boys.

"You _know _I'd kick your blue little tush in soccer, Kurt!" He rolled his eyes in response.

Kitty made the unwise decision of jumping in to defend Jean. "Don't even _pretend _that she's not right, 'cause there's no way on earth you could ever outplay Jean in soccer. She's tougher than sissy runners like you are, anyway."

Jean looked surprised, but very pleased. "I'm glad you mentioned running, Kitty...I'm going to join the track team and I was looking for someone to pair up and train with. It's not _that _sissy of a sport- I bet you'd really like running. You should join!" Kitty was going to protest and find an excuse, but the look of excitement in Jean's eyes was just too genuine. She forced a smile and shrugged. "Surrre. When does the season start?"

Jean grinned. "Today."


	12. Chapter 12

The door of the Blackbird slid open and Hank McCoy glanced up from across the cabin as Logan and Ororo stepped inside, a wave of hot air being forced in as the door shut behind them.

"It's hot as balls, Hank. You just _had _to send us out in the afternoon. Couldn't have been the morning, or the evening."

Logan simply received a gentle smile in response. "I really haven't had a problem with the temperature. I don't have a clue what you're complaining about." He pointed to the central cooling unit on the control panel as its lights blinked cheerfully at the two sweaty, tired individuals and their furry blue companion.

Ororo pulled her hair loose from the tie that was holding it back. "We found the location. We got a few tip offs from some "regulars" of the "batallas de los superiores". There is an area on the outskirts of Nuevo Laredo where a number of abandoned factories and warehouses are located. They said that anyone who wants to see the "show" should just show up and descend the basement steps of the southernmost building; apparently, the organization has "guards" who can pick out people with ill-intent. Military, legal agents, and government operatives are disappear on the spot, but for some reason investigations are never executed."

Hank nodded. "I'll call Charles and see what he wants to do."

Logan started to light a cigar, but Hank and Storm both scowled and pointed to the door. He gave them a rather profane hand gesture and stepped back outside.

At least the sun was going down. They had been scouring the city for information for five days now. Even S.H.I.E.L.D. had been in contact with them, giving new leads and sources. Logan blew a puff of smoke from between his lips and scowled. This whole thing was a real big inconvenience. It was too hot to even stand outside and smoke. Frustruated, he threw his cigar down and then crushed it into the ground with the heel of his foot.

"Ah, Logan, glad you could make it." The Professor was tuned in through the main screen. "I've just told Hank and Ororo that I'd like for you to go and investigate the mutant-fight operation tonight. If Mesmero is indeed the mutant chiefly involved in this organization, he will be there. His mind-controlling powers can only reach a certain distance, so I'm sure he will be somewhere near the match. I want you to find him."

Logan shrugged. "Alright. Why me?"

"Logan, I don't believe Hank or Storm will blend in quite as easily as you. And speaking of blending in, you don't want to draw attention to yourself with the guards at the entrance. They sound like telepaths to me. Hank is going to install a small ear implant which will block the range of their telepathy. I've tested the chips with Jean and myself here in the mansion and they work quite well."

Again, Logan did not show much enthusiasm. "What's the plan when I find Mesmero?"

"You will follow him to where the base of operations is. I presume that after the fights, they take the surviving mutants back to wherever they are being detained. Hank and Ororo will be in the X-Jet and when you tell them where Mesmero is, they will lock onto him. S.H.I.E.L.D. will be aiding us, and I'm planning on having an agent pick you up so you can follow Mesmero on the road while Hank and Ororo track him from the air."

Logan was glad the Professor wasn't close enough to read his mind.

- - -

The rest of the team had already changed and the locker room was empty, except for Kitty. She stood in front of the full length mirror and turned, stretching her neck so she could look at her body's reflection. "_Ugh_." She couldn't figure out why she wasn't losing weight. All this running, yet no pounds had been shed. She pinched the skin on her hips. "Too much," she thought to herself.

"Kitty? Are you still in there?" It was Jean. She quickly threw on her t-shirt and dashed outside. Jean was waiting by the steps, jingling her keys. "You take so long!" She smiled. But Kitty was looking past Jean towards the bleachers. Lance was watching them from below the metal benches, leaning against one of the supporting columns. He waved at her. She tried to act as if she hadn't seen him.

Jean followed Kitty's brief gaze. "Ew, what a creep...just ignore him. Come on, I think it's spaghetti for dinner tonight!"

It was. It was spaghetti going in, and it was spaghetti ten minutes following dinner, as well. Kitty leaned over the toilet, her hands shaking slightly. A string of saliva hung from her lips and she grabbed a couple sheets of tissue paper to wipe it off with. She stood up and pushed down the handle, watching her meal disappear from sight. She looked at herself in the mirror and felt a surge of disgust churning in her empty stomach. Her eyes were bloodshot and watery, the black liner staining underneath her lower eyelids like racoon circles. Her cheeks were white and her lips almost looked bruised. And to top it all off, she was still too _fat_.

"Heeey Kiiiitty!?" Kurt's voice rang up the stairway from the front entrance. "Ze telephone is for yooou!" She hastily cleaned off the makeup that had run, and then opened the door and shut off the light. Kurt was walking up the stairs as she made her way into the hall. He handed her the phone. "I think zere is a good-for-nothing boy on ze other line who wants second helpings." He sounded jealous.

"Hello?"

"Hey...Kitty?" Lance's voice sounded a little husky and nervous. She hoped he hadn't heard Kurt.

"Oh, hey Lance. What's up?" She walked away from Kurt, who was sulking by the banister. She _really _didn't want to talk to Lance right now, or _ever_. Nonetheless, she forced a pleasant tone of voice.

"I just thought I might call and see what's going on. I saw you today after practice...you looked really good by the way. I was at the bleachers and I thought you might come over and talk but I guess- well anyway I was wondering if we could hang out again sometime soon. I really liked spending that quality time with you the other night. It was great..." his voice drifted off. She tried not to imagine what was on his mind right now.

"Uh...yeah. We could maybe hang out sometime...um, but I have a track meet coming up next week so I've been practicing extra lately and I'm just real tired so, we'll try for sometime _after _that, okay?"

Lance sounded disappointed, but still hopeful. "Okay, how about I come watch you run at your meet? It's on Tuesday, right? I think that's what the schedule said, at least." Kitty wondered why he was looking at _her _track schedule. Jean was right, he was a creep.

"Okay Lance, that'll be real cool. But uh...I have to go right now. I have some homework I need to get finished and some chores I need to do. I'll see you around."

Kurt teleported directly in front of her and grabbed the phone, hitting "End Call" before Lance could say anything else. "You're not going to get rid of him by pretending you _like _him, you know." She groaned. "I know... and hey! Stop listening to my conversations!" She strode back to her room and left Kurt standing alone in the hallway.

- - -

The first thing Logan noticed when he entered the crowded and dimly lit arena was the all too familiar mutant standing in the center pit. Colossus. Logan clenched his fists, but reminded himself that Piotr was almost certainly under the control of someone else.

The second thing Logan noticed was the man standing at the corner of the ring. His face was tattooed with black ink markings. Logan knew the face from the photo Charles had shown him. It was Mesmero, sure enough.

The hours passed slowly. Logan stood against the edge of the crowd, keeping his hat tipped low over his eyes, engulfing his face in shadows. He tried to keep Mesmero in sight without taking in too much of the fight itself; though he'd been through years and years of war, he didn't like to see unnecessary violence and destruction. It was obvious that Colossus was the favorable mutant- opponent after opponent came through the doors and each one was easily struck down. Logan felt sick.

As soon as the last fight had ended, Logan pushed his way through the crowd towards Mesmero, who was also pushing his way to a narrow ramp. After he had disappeared around a sharp turn with a number of other obvious operatives, Logan followed, making sure he was not being watched.

Outside, he was surprised at how cool the air had gotten. It was pitch black but he could hear the footsteps ahead of him and crept slowly towards the sound, making sure to leave plenty of room between him and the people ahead. Soft static crackled in his left ear momentarily, then Hank's voice came through the earphone.

"We've got them on target, Logan. Thanks for being our personal tracking device- you're a real good sport. Let them get ahead of you now...there will be a S.H.I.E.L.D. vehicle arriving shortly to pick you up. Meet it at the north gate." He glanced up into the dark sky and almost thought he could make out the faint outline of the Blackbird in the clouds, though he knew this was impossible with its cloaking device.  
As he made his way to the edge of the cluttered field, Logan could hear the quiet grumbling of an approaching engine. Then he could see a black Jeep coming towards him from the darkness around him, driven by none other than Nick Fury himself. He motioned for Logan to get in the car, and grudgingly, Logan complied.

The ride was tense for some time. Nick occasionally glanced at the GPS on his dashboard, which was receiving tracking transmission from the Blackbird. Logan stared out of the window, watching the desolate landscape moving by in a black blur. He tried to ignore Nick's attempts to meet eyes.

Finally, Nick cleared his throat. "I...wanted to apologize for any of the insulting remarks I may have made. I understand that you have responsibilities at the Institute, and that's fine. It's just disappointing that you are no longer a part of our team. We did so much great work together, after all."

Logan grunted in response. "Sure bub." Nick smiled knowingly, aware that from Logan, that was the best acceptance to an apology he could get.

After a while, Nick ventured again into trying to start a conversation. "So...was I right though, about a girl being involved?" Logan's stomach twisted a little. "Yeah, I guess." He stared straight ahead into the darkness, trying not to let his face express anything signs of vulnerability.

Nick laughed and punched Logan softly in the shoulder. "So what, is she your sweetheart? Have you two _done _anything? Or is she just eye candy?"

"Hey, I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh sure. Well I see how it is, Logan. You want her but you can't have her? Is that it?" Nick was trying to be playfully friendly, but Logan really didn't want to deal with this. He didn't want to think about Kitty.

"Just shut it, Fury. I said I don't want to talk about it!"

The rest of the ride was silent. When the targetted point on the GPS stopped moving, a transmission from the Blackbird came in through the Jeep's speakers alerting them that they would be stopping and meeting up in a nearby field to the left of the road. Logan was looking forward to stretching his legs and getting away from Nick. The awkward atmosphere in the jeep was driving him crazy.

When the four of them had gathered into the cabin of the jet, Storm handed Hank and Logan walkietalkies and compact earphones. "You two are going to enter the facility... I'm going to stay here with Nick while we wait for the S.H.I.E.L.D. team to arrive. I don't want either of you to go _looking _for conflict, but Hank needs to infiltrate the computer systems so he can extract and send data back to the Professor. Logan...I just want you to snoop around and look for anything extra that might be of interest, and to protect Hank if there's a situation."

Logan hooked the walkietalkie into his belt loop. "Let's go. I don't want to spend any more time than necessary in this fuckin' desert."


	13. Chapter 13

Hank pressed his ear against the steel door for a long time, listening with a look of utmost concentration. "It sounds like no one is active inside, at least no one in this section of the facility." He gestured to Logan, and said, "You're all clear."

A moment later, the two of them were walking cautiously through the hole Logan had cut cleanly into the metal. He smiled grimly as he sheathed his claws and looked up and down the dark hallway in which they stood. "Okay Hank, you're the boss. What's the plan?"

Hank looked around as well, and then motioned to the left. "Follow me. I want to find the core of technology. There must be something of use in this place..." They walked along, squinting into the darkness. A few lights flickered from a doorway up ahead, but neither of them sensed or heard any motion or activity. As they approached, Logan caught the faint outline of Hank's smile. "Ahh, the smell of hot wires and the hum of cooling fans - I feel confident we are about to find a treasure cove of hard drives and databases."

Logan sniffed the air. "Whatever, bub," he grumbled. "Just smells like air to me."

But Hank was right. Though there was no sign of recent occupation, the room was lined with rows of sleek system units, blinking modems, and hibernating monitors. A huge panel was elevated in the center of the room and Logan could make no sense whatsoever of the different keys, switches, and scrolling display screens. Hank seemed pleased, however, and that was all that mattered.

"This should only take a few minutes and then we can leave. I may have to break a few passwords and keycodes first, so please try not to wander too far." Logan gave a short grunt in reply. He sure wasn't going to take orders from a blue furball.

A narrow, arched hallway led from the other end of the room. Logan noticed that the floor was slightly sloped, and he could not resist the temptation to edge his way down into its winding depths. "Just to see where it leads," he thought to himself. Presently, he came to a split in directions - to his left there was a staircase leading upwards, and straight ahead there were metal steps leading down into a slightly wider corridor. It was lit only by circular blue lights spaced out on the walls, and again, Logan's curiousity was sparked. He wanted to _find _something worth his time, something that might mean something or answer questions. All these empty halls and deserted rooms were boring and almost ominous...

As he entered the corridor, Logan noticed that the blue lights he had seen before were not in fact lights, but windows. Each one faced into a tiny room lit with flourescent bulbs and in the center of each one, there sat a large glass chamber. And inside each chamber, there stood a mutant, eyes closed and body suspended by thick cords. Various tubes ran from each chamber, pumping different fluids in and out of the veins of the unconscious individuals. Logan walked slowly, staring at the faces of these prisoners - many he had seen before in the news, in the Professor's files, and some even in passing. His pace quickened - maybe Karma was in one of these containment cells. They had not heard from her since Trask Laboratory but Professor X was still sure that she was alive somewhere. Maybe he would find her here.

Suddenly he caught a movement in the corner of his eye. A figure disappeared swiftly around a corner at the far end of the corridor. The shadow was small and feminine - Logan chased after it. He could hear the sound of running feet echoing ahead. At the corner, the hallway split once more but again he glimpsed the shadow before it disappeared out of sight.

The next bend in the hallway led into a large room filled with platforms and railings and industrial equiptment. It was also a dead end. "Who's there?" He said aloud, taking a few cautious steps.

"Logan?"

That voice. All too familiar. But - it was impossible.

"...Kitty?"

Her delicate figure appeared from behind a towering stack of crates and came towards him. "Logan, thank goodness it's you!"

He stood frozen to the spot. This was quite a confusing situation - shouldn't she currently be thousands of miles away, sleeping in her bed at the institute? He frowned. "Kid, what are you doing here?"

"Don't be silly, I came on the mission."

But she didn't, did she? The Professor sure hadn't mentioned anything, and as far as he'd been able to tell, the only ones besides him on the X-Jet had been Hank and Ororo. He couldn't see how she would have been able to get her before him, and without being noticed. Sure, she could walk through walls, but...maybe she had stowed away in the back of the Jet? He couldn't make sense of it, but he had something else on his mind anyway.

"Why were you running from me?"

She flashed a quick smile. "I thought you were someone else. But come with me, I have to show you something I found." She gestured back towards the hallway and started into a jog.

As she ran past, however, Logan's arm suddenly struck out and collided with her face and she fell to the floor before him, her head smacking against the concrete floor with a loud crack. He stood there in shock - he hadn't done that! It was as if his arm had become possessed...he stared in horror at his arm, which was now sheathed completely in a silver-blue metal. "What the hell is this?" He shouted as he looked down at Kitty laying motionless at his feet.

And then again, Logan's body seemed possessed by an outside force. He kneeled down and picked her up - noticing both arms were coated with the bluish metal and he felt that he had become much taller than he had been just moments ago. It took no effort to lift her and he turned with her slumped limply against his shoulder.

The room had changed. It came as yet another shock to see the equiptment had disappeared, the lighting was different, the layout was altered. And somehow, this place seemed eerily familiar. "NO!" He shouted in panicked realization as his feet began to carry him towards the door of what appeared to be a storage room - Logan tried to fight his physical self but it was in vain, his mind seemed to be all that was left of his being. This wasn't him. This was...

"MESMERO! Get the hell out of my head! Stop this! Stop this now!"

A hollow chuckle reverberated around the the storage room as he shut and barred the door behind him. "Perhaps if you had not entered my base uninvited," a sinister voice replied, "I would not be entering your mind uninvited." Logan tossed Kitty roughly onto a table in the corner and took in the contours of her body, allowing his hand to trail crudely over her breasts and then down her stomach and between her thighs before reaching down to caress his own bulge. Mesmero's voice spoke softly in his head, "Besides, isn't she the girl you want? You should be thanking me for this."

He watched her eyes flutter and open blearily. As she tried to sit up, he watched himself pin her back down by the neck. "You were always such a tease, Miss Pryde." The words which came from his lips were not his own. She struggled as he tried to pull her close and his hand struck her against the face again, violent lust surged in his veins and he felt his pulse quicken. "Where do you think you're going? I'm going to have to teach you a lesson."

He clasped her wrists tightly and she lay there frozen, tears welling in her eyes from pain and fright. "You won't try to get away this time, will you?" It was evident that she had, for the moment at least, lost her ability to phase through solid obstacles and he was apparently encouraged by this fact because his metal coating began to melt back into flesh, though the hands which now groped her squirming body were still not his own. As they slipped beneath her shirt, he tried again to break the illusion and pleaded, "I don't want THIS!" There was only more hollow laughter in response.

Logan shut his eyes tightly, trying to force the scene from his vision. But everything continued to unfold before him as if they were open. He could see her, feel her, hear her... _"This isn't real," _he told himself. This wasn't him. This wasn't her. This was something that had happened, something he couldn't change, something he could not control. He was not the person who had stripped her naked here on the table, he was not the brute who was about to ravage her fragile body in the worst way.

He unzipped his pants and positioned himself. "No one's going to hear you scream."

"NOOO!" Logan couldn't take it. He twisted his body violently and howled in agonizing despair. The vision ceased and he suddenly became aware of the cold floor against his side. Someone was shaking him. "Logan! Logan..." It was Hank. He was kneeling over him, his deep blue eyes full of worry. A choked sob escaped Logan's throat and he noticed with slight embarassment that his face was streaked with tears.

"I got the data I came for, Logan. You didn't answer my calls on the earpiece, so I came looking for you...are you okay to stand up? We need to hurry, I'm certain they'll have heard - well, they'll know our location soon enough."

Logan pushed Hank's hand away and helped himself up. "I'm fine," he grunted, avoiding eye contact. "Let's get the hell out of here."

The two of them ran as quietly as they could back through the hallway. When they entered the corridor of cell windows, Logan stopped. "Hank, I didn't check each one of these cells - I thought Karma might be in one." Just then an alarm began to sound through the facility. Hank glanced around hastily. "I don't think she's here - we can't afford to linger!" They ran now full speed through the corridor, up the steps and into the narrow, ramped tunnel. The sound of footsteps now came behind them from the depths of the lower levels. Luckily, Hank and Logan were already passing through the data center and then out into the dry desert night. Hank had called ahead on the walkie-talkie and Storm had the Jet hovering at the breached entrance, its access ramp lowered.

Seconds later, the Jet lifted into the sky and sped away swiftly into the darkness. Hank and Logan took their seats behind Storm and Fury, and as they buckled in, Hank peered at Logan with concern laced with curiousity. "What happened back there, my friend?"

Logan looked out the window and willed his hands to stop shaking. "I don't want to talk about it."


	14. Chapter 14 Update

Update:

Ugh guys I know, I know, I haven't added anything to this story in forever. Believe me, it's all in my head but I just haven't had the time to write much in the past couple months. Worked two jobs this summer, you know? But classes this semester are pretty lax so I'm going to be starting up again soon – probably post a new chapter by the end of this weekend. Thanks for being patient.


End file.
